What We Do Resurrection at Ground Zero From: Sr. Grace Maundy Thursday April 23, 2002 Dear Friends, Dear Friends, Easter Sunday at Ground Zero seemed almost anticlimactic. So much has happened here in the past six months and for me, they seemed to reach a feverish pitch at Holy Week. I had been trying desperately to ignore the fact that I would be leaving NY right after Easter and returning to Boston. I convinced myself I was too caught up in other things to notice. We were all trying to cope with the anticipated closing of the ministry of St. Paul’s, coming just one week away. It seemed so wrong to us to end the vital relief effort before the work in the site was done and worse yet, to end it on Easter Sunday, the Feast of the Resurrection. Many tears were shed as we steeled ourselves for an Easter that would more closely resemble a Requiem, or funeral. By Monday evening, though, word had come that the city of New York had requested that our work continue and that Trinity Church had agreed to keep St. Paul’s open as a relief center until the work in the site was finished, anticipated to be late May. We were elated!! We rejoiced that the future of St. Paul’s had been “resurrected”. More than one person commented, “I don’t care if it is Holy Week- Alleluia!!” We celebrated briefly, and then started scrambling to schedule volunteers, to reschedule food services that had been cancelled, and made calls to procure supplies we would need to continue. So Holy Week passed in a flurry of activity. In years past, at home, I have spent the Triduum, or three holy days, in silence at the convent, somberly reflecting on the last days and the death of Jesus. This year felt like I was going through the motions, participating in the usual worship and liturgy, but somehow detached and distracted. Silence was impossible in the chaos and business of St. Paul’s, and my heart and mind were anything but silent. On top of all of this, I was more and more aware that my departure was just days away. Easter Day started with the Easter Vigil at 6 am at St. Paul’s. The service itself was beautiful, as always, but I spent the first part of it pacing the aisles to make sure the congregation didn’t set fire to the cards and letters taped to the pews with their little candles! I was poised to grab the nearest fire extinguisher should anything be set ablaze! My friends in the FDNY would be proud! Nothing happened, fortunately, and I was able to relax a bit. The service lasted nearly two hours, and then it was a mad scramble to clean up and get everything reset for the next service at 8 am. That service went off without a hitch, as did the service we had at noon. By mid afternoon, I had participated in four Eucharists in 24 hours, yet I still didn’t feel as though Easter had really come. I kept saying “Alleluia” to everyone, yet I couldn’t feel the joy and peace that I usually do on Easter. I went down into “the Pit” after the 8 am service with one of the police officers. It was totally quiet, as they were having Mass at the huge cross that was erected on the perimeter of the site. He pointed out all the places where things had been- the PATH train, the roadway, the shopping plaza, the parking garage, Buildings 4 and 5 and 6 and 7, the South Tower, the North Tower. To me, it felt like a Litany of Destruction as I looked at empty space or piles of wreckage. I had not been down in “the Pit” since the work had gone underground. It was too frightening. Now, in the sunlight on that clear Easter morning, it just seemed empty. I went back to the Chapel and tried to focus. Celebrating was going on all around me, but I still felt all tied up inside. I was exhausted, stressed, and somewhat overwhelmed at the events of the week, and at the prospect of leaving St. Paul’s. I had grown so fond of so many of the workers, not to mention the staff that I loved so dearly. My insides were just crying out for some peace! How would I go on? What was life going to be like back in Boston? How I was going to miss these people, this place, the sanctuary, these feelings of love and friendship! At Ground Zero, the tragedy of Sept. 11th was a transforming event. People’s lives were changed instantly and irrevocably. Priorities became more focused, love and tolerance and cooperation became the most important things. People of all faiths pulled together- worked together- prayed together- to put the pieces of lives back together again. Not just the clean up of the site, but the clean up of lives, took place here. Distractions and pettiness all but disappeared. Focus returned to many as they sought bravely and single-mindedly to do what needed to be done. Heroism abounded! Somehow everyone knew what had to happen and it just went on happening- day after day, week after week, month after month. And Lent went on and on and on. But here it was, Easter, and I felt nothing but tension and anxiety. What would happen to the site? What would happen to the workers? What would happen to me? All of this was whirling around in my brain as I walked outside in the graveyard behind St. Paul’s. This was another place I had not been in quite a while. The preservationists had set up camp in the graveyard and were working diligently to repair the damage that had been done to the ancient, fragile headstones. I looked up at the long line of people waiting to ascend the Viewing Platform for their only look at the 16-acre site. I noticed a huge amount of debris still in the trees- mangled aluminum blinds that once shaded someone’s desk high up in the towers, now caught on a branch. There were torn pieces of plastic and a shroud like piece of cloth, billowing ominously in the light breeze. I felt disheartened and full of despair. For the first time in many months, I felt myself wondering if we would ever heal from this tragedy. Would New Yorkers be okay? Would the workers be okay? Would I? That is when I heard it- a rustling noise, and a light and cheery chirp. It seemed to be coming from above me, so I stopped and looked up into the gnarled old tree I had wandered under. This tree too had debris in it, bunched up in half a dozen places where the branches were close together, like fingers that had reached out and grabbed their prize and were now unwilling to let it go. To my astonishment, those bits and pieces of debris had literally been transformed-made new- and were being used by the birds in their nests!! In five separate spots in this tree, and in two in the tree next to it, the birds had built nests using bits and pieces of charred paper, tattered cloth and twisted metal. Anything that they could carry in their beaks, they used. They had taken the debris that had fallen out of the sky that day and made them into building material for their new homes. And you could hear the birds chirping to each other with joy! They had no idea that this debris was from a tragic and destructive event. All they knew was that they had been given material that they could use to build their nests, the safe place they would use to hatch and rear their young. I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks as I stood there in awe and wonder. I realized that somehow, everything was going to be all right. NY was going to be all right, the workers were going to be all right, and I was going to be all right. The Resurrection had come after all! The birds in the trees, and the green buds on the branches had reminded me that the Resurrection was about transformation- the transformation of tragedy into hope, of death into life, of endings into beginnings. I said a prayer of thanksgiving to God right then and there, then slowly walked back into the Chapel to say good-bye. Grace,n/SSM My Farewell to Ground Zero From: Sr. Grace Maundy Thursday March 28, 2002 Dear Friends, By now most of you have heard that the ministry at St. Paul's Chapel will be continuing until the work at Ground Zero has been completed. I am so grateful to Trinity Church for allowing this to happen. I am also extremely grateful that they have allowed me to be a part of this incredible, life-changing ministry. As I prepare to leave NY City and return to Boston on April 3rd, I am leaving with very mixed emotions. I am tired and in need of some rest and recuperation. I am ready to return to my home and my sisters there, to continue on with my novitiate training, and to be available for whatever our Lord (and my superiors!) have in store for me. But it is also very hard to leave the people I have met - the sisters here who have been so kind and supportive of me, the staff at St. Paul's and at Trinity, many of whom I now consider to be good friends, the volunteers, who have shown me what it means to really give of yourself, and the courageous and inspirational workers of Ground Zero who have taught me so much about dedication, perseverance, and hope. It has been an incredible blessing for me to watch the Holy Spirit at work in the staff at St. Paul's as we sought to bring healing and wholeness to a place that was so broken by the act of terror that occurred on September 11th. We came together under the incredible leadership of Fr. Lyndon Harris, who asked only that we commit ourselves to doing whatever it took to allow God to work in this desolate place. He gave us the power and the trust that allowed all of us to use our special gifts and invited many others to join us and to use their special gifts. And so the healing started, one person at a time. The love flowed as freely as the coffee, and the hugs were given as freely as the aspirin. Tears were welcomed and accepted, as was anger, fear and frustration. All were served with reverence and respect, and our overriding concern was that the workers were provided with sanctuary- no matter what their faith, their denominational affiliation, their race or their color. Anyone working on the site was welcomed, whether fire dept, police dept, construction workers, iron workers, laborers, or sanitation workers. To see heroism, dedication and bravery in such large doses every day have given me a sense of not only the love and strength of the God that I serve, but of the resilience and beauty of the human race. Right after the events of September 11th, I didn't really feel like I had much confidence in the goodness of human beings! Working at St. Paul's Chapel not only restored that faith, but strengthened it. I am not the same person who walked up those steps onto the porch that day back at the end of September last year. No one who has experienced the love that is St. Paulís will ever be the same. The staff at St. Paulís will continue to need your prayers and your support. They will need volunteers to continue manning the Chapel twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. They will need clergy and pastoral care people to continue this ministry until the work at Ground Zero has been completed. Please offer your love, support and assistance to them at this crucial time. To all of you from far and near that I have met and loved, thank you! To all of you who gave and gave and gave again, thank you! To all of you who prayed and cried and laughed with me, thank you! To all the clergy who came and served and listened, thank you! To all the massage therapists, podiatrists and chiropractors, who showed us how to relax, take care of ourselves and feel better, thank you! To all the mental health workers who listened for hours on end, thank you! To all the volunteer groups who showed incredible enthusiasm and creative thinking, thank you! To all the staff of Trinity Church who supported us, thank you! To all the musicians who enthralled us with beautiful music, thank you! To FDNY, for your bravery, thank you! To NYPD, for your faithfulness, thank you! To DCCA, for your love for me, thank you! To DSNY, for your thoughtfulness, thank you! To the construction workers and all the engineers who kept the work going safely, thank you! To all the food service folks and restaurants who fed us day after day, thank you! To all those who sent supplies, cards from kids, banners, and artwork, thank you! To Gary, for keeping us sane, thank you! Most of all, to Lyndon, Katherine, Diane, Martin, Carter and Dennis- THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART FOR BEING THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE THAT YOU ARE! I love you all and will carry you forever in my heart! Grace,n/SSM Fire Dept Has Pinpointed 700 New Human Remains From: Sr. Grace March 26, 2002 Hi Everyone. Lest we forget why the job these workers are doing is so horrific... Grace,n/SSM Fire Dept. Has Pinpointed 700 New Human Remains By FORD FESSENDEN More bodies were removed from ground zero yesterday as the gruesome recovery efforts continued in some of the final areas of the World Trade Center ruins to be searched. The effort to find remains has proven especially productive in the last three weeks, as Fire Department searchers mapped more than 700 new discoveries. Starting a week after the attack, the Fire Department has recorded the location of human remains and other things. It first used a rough grid, and, since Sept. 30, more precise global positioning system equipment that is accurate to within a few yards. "I think we'll learn a lot of things about what took place from analyzing this data," said Joseph Pfeifer, the battalion chief who was the first fire chief to report to the trade center on Sept. 11. The maps show the progress of the search from October until yesterday. Bodies recovered just after the collapse were not mapped, and remains located using the original grid system are not included on these maps. The discoveries below may include small body parts. It is not a census of all the dead. The maps show that discoveries in November and December were concentrated in the east and south parts of ground zero, in what was once the plaza, the south tower and the Marriott Hotel. In January, the search moved to the north tower, and in February to areas north and west. In the last three weeks, hundreds of remains have been found in the south tower, especially its southeast corner. Although more people died in the north tower, the first to be struck, equal numbers of remains have been found at the areas of the two buildings. In all, 3,069 remains have been cataloged, and searchers classified about 600 as remains of firefighters or police officers based on bits of clothing or equipment. (To view the maps, go to www.NYTimes.com. Go to the section marked The Nation Challenged and the article and maps are there.) In Chapel's Closing, a Ground Zero Sanctuary Is Lost From: Sr. Grace March 24, 2002 > From the New York Times (Sunday, March 24, 2002) > In Chapel's Closing, a Ground Zero Sanctuary Is Lost By TINA KELLEY When St. Paul's > Chapel closes its doors after the Easter sunrise > service for an interior > and exterior cleaning, the recovery workers who have > relied on it for > warm meals, quiet reflection and a place to sleep > are not sure where > they will go. > > And as more remains are discovered in the dwindling > pile that used to be > the south tower of the World Trade Center, the > workers and some of those > who serve them believe that they will need the > comforts offered by the > church more than ever. To some, it feels as if their > dugout is closing > in the ninth inning. > > But to leaders of the Episcopal chapel, the > cleaning, which is expected > to last a month and cost several hundred thousand > dollars, is necessary > to reopen the church to its dispossessed > congregation, to the downtown > community and to the streams of visitors to ground > zero. > > On Friday, the 236-year-old sanctuary on Broadway at > Fulton Street was > warm, bright and full of flute music. The sad > present had been imposed > on the gracious past, with garlands of bright > origami cranes and flag > banners - the stripes formed by children's red > handprints - clashing > with the pastel pink and blue walls and the > Waterford crystal > chandeliers. There were cots, occupied at noon, in > the balcony, and > massage therapists over by the pew where George > Washington prayed after > his inauguration in 1789. > > Mike Bellone, fire safety director for the Fire > Department, said he > visits the chapel, part of Trinity Church, daily and > sleeps there about > four nights a week. "We feel like we're being > orphaned," he said. "How > many bones and arms and hands can you pick up in a > day before it gets to > you? You come in here, and they put a smile on your > face. They help you > keep your faith." > > An advisory that the chapel received on Jan. 31 from > the City Department > of Environmental Protection makes the cleanup > necessary, church > officials said. The city asked only that the > chapel's exterior be > cleaned and did not set a deadline, but the Rev. > Samuel Johnson Howard, > vicar of Trinity Church and St. Paul's Chapel, said > the cleaning cannot > be postponed until the end of the excavations, > especially since no one > knows for sure when that will be. > > "We are looking at a shift of the ministry, not an > end to the ministry," > he said on Friday. "We are pursuing new ways of > counseling and working > with not only those who are working at the World > Trade Center, the fire, > police and rescue personnel, but also all the other > thousands of people > who are also part of the downtown community." > > That includes the chapel's congregation, which > restarted its 8 a.m. > Sunday service several weeks ago, and visitors to > the area, he said. > > Father Howard plans to meet with psychologists and > psychiatrists to > explore ways of helping the workers who have used > the chapel since > September. He said that after the chapel closes, > they would be most > likely to go to the Salvation Army tent for aid, and > may receive food at > St. Peter's Roman Catholic Church nearby. > > Mark Maginn, a social worker who volunteers at St. > Paul's, said workers > who already run a high risk of post-traumatic stress > disorder will be > further traumatized by the loss of their haven. > > "The chapel is the first line of defense," he said. > "We get to warn them > about what's ahead, though they may already be > experiencing it now." > > He said the workers may experience family problems, > because they are > seldom home, and may need help with drug and alcohol > problems, anger and > suicidal thoughts. > > People who work at the chapel say its friendly > setting encourages > informal counseling that does not carry the stigma > of asking for help, > which can be difficult for the famously stoic > uniformed workers. > > A priest who has received comfort at St. Paul's on > the way to and from > duty at the ground zero morgue said the chapel's > present mission of > serving firefighters, police officers and > construction workers was > fitting. > > "This church has never been holier in its whole > history," said the > priest, Robert C. Schwarz, of All Souls' Episcopal > Church in Harlem. > "This is what it means to be a sacred place. To roll > a stone in front of > the tomb on Easter Sunday is just counter to what > every church means to > be." > > Outside, on the chapel steps, two construction > workers, Albert Aramendia > of Haverstraw, N.Y., and Tom Magee of Shirley, N.Y., > sat in a sliver of > cold sunshine. Mr. Magee said that while > firefighters and police > officers were trained to handle disasters, they were > not, and they > needed help. "Construction workers, we don't really > deal with dead > bodies," Mr. Magee said. > > When the chapel closes, Mr. Aramendia plans to eat > and nap in his car, > as he has during other jobs. Other workers said they > might resort to a > nearby Burger King or McDonald's. > > Mr. Magee said, "I'll have to talk to my wife a lot > more," and he and > his friend laughed. Then he turned philosophical. > "Everything has got to > stop," he said. "It goes back to normal." > > Mr. Aramendia said, "Good things usually don't last > anyway." http://www.nytimes.com/2002/03/24/nyregion/24CHAP.html The Latest News about Ground Zero From: Sr. Grace March 17, 2002 Hi Everyone. This article was on the front page of the New York Times today. It describes the mood here at Ground Zero as the work of the cleanup gets closer to a conclusion. Many more bodies are being found and the article describes why, and how people are reacting to it. I have highlighted several points that I find terribly important- the number of people still unfound, the timeframe of this last part of the work, the terribly conflicting emotions of those who have been down here for the past six months as the end comes into sight, and the extremely difficult time that many will face when the work stops and the processing of this experience begins. Please continue to pray for all those who work at the site. I fear that the really hard part is only just beginning. Grace,n/SSM St. Paul's Chapel Relief Effort to End From: Sr. Grace March 14, 2002 Hi everyone. I am saddened to announce the end of the Relief Effort at St. Paul's Chapel. Here is the official announcement from Trinity Church: St. Paul's Sets City-Mandated Clean-up And Resumption of Public Ministry Thursday March 14, 2002 -- The Parish of Trinity Church in the City of New York today announced that it will resume its public ministry at the 235-year-old St. Paul's Chapel here following a City-mandated cleanup of hazardous residues left by the September 11 terrorist attack. In mid-September, the historic chapel was closed to the public and converted to a 24 hours-a-day, seven days-a-week refuge providing food and rest for the thousands of firefighters, police and emergency workers at Ground Zero. Trinity said St. Paul's will continue its relief work until Easter Sunday, whereupon it will close to allow the clean up of the hazardous residues from the World Trade Center's destruction. The cleanup project is mandated by the Department of Environmental Protection of the City of New York. "After Easter and the required cleaning, St. Paul's public ministry will be reborn to address the urgent, unique spiritual needs of a community that is recovering but still grieving from the terrible tragedy," said the Rev. Samuel Johnson Howard, the Vicar of Trinity Parish. "There could be no more fitting time to address this tremendous challenge than the season when we celebrate the resurrection of Christ. "There is a desperate need for a place of spiritual pilgrimage near the World Trade Center site," he added, "not only for the thousands who live and work in lower Manhattan but also for visitors from around America and the world who come here every day." Father Howard said the emergency ministry at St. Paul's would continue for the next two weeks. "For six months, volunteers from churches, synagogues, corporations, law firms and other kinds of organizations from throughout the United States have come to New York to serve the heroic people at the World Trade Center site," he added. "We thank everyone at St. Paul's who have given so much, and we thank hundreds of other compassionate people and their companies whose generosity has underwritten much of the financial cost. "Besides serving Ground Zero workers more than 300,000 meals, the Rev. Lyndon Harris, his emergency staff and scores of volunteers also provided them with rest, physical therapy and, most of all, the solace of open ears and open hearts." The Rev. Lyndon Harris, the associate responsible for ministry at St. Paul's, said: "Those whom the volunteers have helped at St. Paul's have responded with stirring expressions of gratitude. We are committed to continuing ministries to rescue workers as well as to the wider public." After Easter, St. Paul's volunteers will be encouraged to work at other nearby emergency centers or Church-sponsored programs in the area, he said. St. Paul's itself will donate any remaining food and supplies to other continuing programs, he added. Trinity said that during the anticipated closure of St. Paul's for the environmental clean-up, its staff and Vestry will closely review the spiritual and community needs in order to resume a public ministry that will be best structured to meet them. Father Howard said: "We have yet to work out precise details of our post-September 11 ministry to the public, but it will include worship, civic and religious programs, counseling, prayer and meditation." The Episcopal Bishop of New York, the Right Rev. Mark Sisk, said: "We are proud of the role St. Paul's has played in the life of the city and nation since September 11, and are deeply grateful to the volunteers from every walk of life who ministered to rescue workers. We look forward to its future ministry to this city, the nation, and all those who come here for solace and inspiration." St. Paul's Chapel, located at Broadway and Fulton Street, was built in 1766 and attended by hundreds of Colonial and Revolutionary figures, including George Washington. It is one of two historic churches in lower Manhattan owned, operated and staffed by the Parish of Trinity Church in New York City, Manhattan's oldest Episcopal Church. Its mother church, Trinity,established in 1697, is located further south on lower Broadway at the head of Wall Street. ===== Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace, And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace. Older letters. Oldest letters.